


What Could Have Been

by nazangel



Series: Carry On Countdown 2019 [27]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Angst, Aunt-Nephew Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Parent-Child Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 22:22:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21946372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nazangel/pseuds/nazangel
Summary: Baz finds a time travel spell in his family library. He knows he shouldn’t consider it. It’s hard to ignore the possibilities though.
Relationships: Daphne Grimm & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Daphne Grimm/Malcolm Grimm, Fiona Pitch & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Malcolm Grimm & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Malcolm Grimm/Natasha Grimm-Pitch, Natasha Grimm-Pitch & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Carry On Countdown 2019 [27]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1554211
Kudos: 53
Collections: Carry On Countdown 2019





	What Could Have Been

**BAZ**

I don't mean to find it.

Our library is filled with old and interesting artifacts. I've never taken the time to look through them. However, since the whole thing with the Mage and the holes, we've had to move a lot of things.

I'm looking through a stack of books when a loose page falls out.

Picking it up, I see that it's a spell in Latin.

A Time travel spell. It allows you to go back and change one event in the past.

I know I should put it down and forget it. Burn it even. The Grimms might tend to do dark rituals in secret, but most of them are small and harmless. No one in my family would try this. No one would approve of it.

I fold the paper and put it in my pocket.

All through dinner, I can feel the paper burning a hole through me.

My family notices something's up. Fiona keeps trying to get me to talk, Father asks me if there's something on my mind, and Daphne offers me food until I have to tell her to stop.

At least they're not bothered by my fangs anymore.

xxx

Later, up in my room, I open the paper I look at the spell again.

It's simple enough.

You say one incantation while thinking on the even you want before going to sleep, which causes some sort of dream. You wake up and say another incantation. It transports you to the event you wish to change. Once that's done, you're transported back to your time, except wit ha different future.

I don't think about it too much. If I think about it and all its consequences, I'll talk myself out of it. I don't want to talk myself out of it. Instead, I think of the night of the attack, of the teeth sinking into my neck, of my mum dying.

Then I say the incantation.

At first, nothing happens. Then I start to feel very tired. Barely able to keep myself standing, I head to my bed and fall in it, not caring that I'm still dressed.

xxx

When I wake up, I feel an uncontrollable urge to get out of the room. I head out but don't hear anything.

That's odd. My siblings should be up and making noise by now.

I head to the kitchen and stop dead in my tracks. Sitting there, sipping on tea are my parents.

As in my parents, Malcolm and Natasha.

My mum (oh Merlin, my mum) looks up at me and smiles.

"Lovely of you to join us, Tyrannus," says mum, putting her cup down

Before I can think of what I'm doing, I throw my arms around her, burying my face into her shoulder.

"Oh, Ty," she says, "What's going on?"

"Are you alright, son?" asks my father and I feel his heavy hand on my back

I pull away and smile.

"Just a bad dream,"

"Oh well," says father, "We all have those sometimes,"

"Yes," says mum, "Come sit and have some tea,"

I nod and sit down, keeping my eyes on my mum. It feels like she'll disappear if I don't.

I sip the tea she sets down in front of me. Hmm, it's a little sweeter than when Daphne makes.

Daphne.

The woman I call Mother.

"Uh, I saw Daphne the other day," I say conversationally, trying to gauge their reaction.

"Oh," says mum, "Huh, I haven't seen her in a while. Did you know she used to have a crush on your father at Watford?"

Father snorts, "She did not,"

"Oh, she did," says mum, "Not that I blame her,"

Father giver her a soft look at that.

I can't help but let my thoughts wander, though. If Daphne was never with father, there is no Mordelia, no Octavia, no Victoria, and no Collin.

I don't have younger siblings. I'm not a big brother.

The thought makes my heart hurt.

I love my siblings, but at the same time, I don't have siblings.

But I have my mum. That's okay.

(No it's not)

"So, Tyrannus," says mum, "We were discussing the fact that you don't have a girlfriend yet,"

My heart sinks to the pit of my stomach.

I wasn't out to them. Why wasn't I out to them? Was my mum intolerant? Was I afraid to come out?

"I'm sure he'll find a partner in due time, Natasha. The boy is still young and contrary to popular belief, graduating Watford single doesn't mean staying single your whole life,"

He said 'partner,' not a girlfriend or wife. Partner. It could be just the way he talked. Yet...

"Yes. Fine," sighed my mother, "Anyway, I need to make a few calls. I'll see you two later,"

She gives us both a kiss on the cheek and heads out of the kitchen.

Once she's out of earshot, Father turns to me and smiles sadly.

"Sorry about that, Ty," he says (He hates that name. He always calls me Basilton. I'm _supposed_ to be _Basilton_ )

"I know my initial reaction deterred you, and I'm sorry about that, but maybe you should consider telling her about your sexuality,"

My stomach twists painfully. So I am out. Just not to my mother.

This isn't how I imagined it. Not how I imagined it at all.

Speaking of being out. What about...?

I'm scared to ask.

"I'll tell her in due time," I say

He sighs, "Probably a good idea, with the humdrum and all,"

"Father," I say, "Do you know anything about Simon Snow?"

"Who, now?"

The world tilts and shatters.

"Just a name I overheard," I say shakily, quickly getting up "I'm going to go to my room now,"

"Ty, son -are you-"

I can hear him calling for me as I walk out of the room. I keep going.

Simon must have still grown up in those homes. I never met him. I never fell in love with him and yet I remember everything.

Simon's lovely smile. Penelope's magic. Mordelia's sarcasm. Collin's babbling. The twins and their mischief. Father and Daphne dancing at their wedding. Daphne, who always said she had five children instead of four.

As soon as I pick up the phone, I dial a number. Hoping it's the same one.

"Hey, Ty," says a cheerful voice

"Hey, Bunce,"

"Merlin, you haven't called me that since our first year," she says, "Took me a long time to train you out of it. Don't undo the progress. Anyway, I had a few things I wanted to discuss with you, especially about our flat and..."

She keeps talking about our plans and our future studies.

We're friends, old friends.

The phone drops from my hand. On the other side, I can hear her still saying something, but my world is spinning again, and I feel sick.

I want Simon.

I want Mordelia and my other siblings. I want Father and his _Basilton._ I want Daphne and her bitter tea.

_I want Home._

xxx

I wake up gasping.

I'm in my bed again, wearing the same clothes I wore to dinner.

Does this mean- could it-

I run out of my room and down the stairs. Not caring that I'm too old for it.

Father and Fiona are sitting, sipping their tea.

Father looks up when he hears me and his eyes widen.

"Basilton, are you alright?" he asks

Basilton. Not Tyrannus. Not Ty. I'm Basilton.

_Basilton._

"Where's Mother?" I ask them

"She went to get Collin ready. They're going to see her mother remember?"

"Are you okay, boyo?" asks Fiona, getting up and coming toward me

I back out of the doorway.

"No-yes. I'm just going to head to my room," I say before bolting from there.

xxx

I go back and reread the spell.

It seems like I missed something. The first incantation is supposed to give you a taste.

The second one makes it come true.

If I say it, I'll have my mum.

If I say it, there won't be Daphne, or my siblings or Snow.

I can't do it. I just can't.

I can't get rid of it either

I'm weak.

That's how Fiona and Father find me — sitting on the bed, staring at the paper.

They knock and come in.

"Basil," says Fiona, "What's going on? You're scaring us a bit,"

I look at them, showing them my red eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

"Basilton," says Father, coming close and setting a hand on my shoulder, "Tell us,"

"I almost did something awful," I whisper

I and them the spell and they read it over. Unlike me, they probably don't miss a crucial part.

They're smart people, so when they look at me with sad eyes. I know they've figured out what happened.

"Oh, Basilton," says Father as he sits down beside me. Fiona in front of us.

I'm Basilton.

I throw myself at him, crying into his shoulder.

"Father," I choke out, " _Father_ ,"

He shushes me gently while Fiona says soft words and rubs my back.

"It's okay, boyo. We got you,"

"It was awful," I say through my sniffles, "You kept calling my Ty. I'm not supposed to be Ty. I'm Basilton,"

Somehow my father understands.

"Of course, son. Of course, you're Basilton,"

I let out a loud sob at that. I sound anguished and in pain, but I can't bring myself to care.

I'm Basilton.

Once I've calmed down, Fiona holds out the paper.

"We should burn it," she whispers

Father looks at me, and I nod.

Fiona summons her fire first. It's lesser than my mum's, but it smells like hers. My Father summons his next. It's a small but steady flame. A light in the dark, so to speak.

I summon mine last. It's brighter then both of theirs combined.

We put our hands together (Carefully. I'm still flammable)

Fiona puts the paper into our joint fire, and it burns instantly.

xxx

"You're always our Basilton, okay?" says Father before they head out of my room.

"I know," I tell him

xxx

Later I find Daphne and hug her tightly.

"I love you, Mother,"

She doesn't understand, but she's soft and kind. She's always soft and kind.

"I love you too, Basilton,"

xxx

I call Simon, and Penelope is there, so I tell them to put it on speaker.

I tell them everything, beginning to end.

"Oh, Baz," says Simon, "We're still here. We're the same. I'm your terrible boyfriend and Penelope your friend-but-not-friend,"

"Exactly Basil," says Penelope

It's okay.

Everything's okay. Right as it should be

(I hope you have peace, mum. I'm okay now)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed!


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